The meeting was scheduled for June 26th. I was instructed to go to the DCF office where we would have a call with Bug’s bio mom and I would meet this unknown cousin. I asked what I was supposed to talk with his bio mom about and what the meeting would be like. No response.
So I show up to the meeting, only after panicking and making a plan of talking points with my best friend. I realized I didn’t know what in the world I would say to the woman whose baby I love so dearly. Armed with talking points, I went to DCF where I waited a really long time. The social workers came out like a whirlwind and we went into a conference room quickly. I noticed the cousin was not in attendance and then they were dialing Bug’s bio mom before I even sat down.
The social worker whispered sternly “first names only!”. And then the bio mom picked up.
Before I could get my feet underneath me in the insanity that I found myself in, bio mom was angrily telling them off. Because they hadn’t given her an update in over a month. A MONTH. They hadn’t even contacted her to tell her he was okay. She demanded visits with him (as she should since her rights have not been terminated). They cut her off and were rude, just rude. She got upset by this (obviously).
Before I knew what I was doing, I leaned over and slowly took the phone from the social worker. Clearly they have never gotten the memo about kindness or deescalation. They looked at me, appalled that I had the balls to take her phone (to be honest, so was I).
“Hey mama, I’m one of the foster parents, let’s just chat you and me. Can I tell you about him? Can I tell you about his smile and how he sleeps?”
Of course, she started crying right away. She instantly was more calm and I gave her detail after detail about him. The social workers tried to interject at one point and I shushed them and told them it was not their turn to talk.
I told her how he sleeps, how he smiles. I told her how much he weighs and how much he is eating. I told her how loved he is everywhere he goes. She thanked me for taking care of him and for loving him. I was floored by her thanking me. I had painted her to be something that she is most definitely not. She is just a mama that needs help. And I have so much kindness and concern in my heart for her.
I was then shooed out of the conference room and they continued their yell fest with her.
No cousin. No discussion. Just in and then out.