New Record!

Week of: October 23rd – 30th

I haven’t done a Muddled Weekly since the adoption finalized. If I had, it would have looked something like this:

  • Week 1: Little threw rocks at me.
  • Week 2: Little punched me…a lot.
  • Week 3: Little kicked me….extra.
  • Week 4: Little broke lots of stuff.

So really I’m all caught up! But this week, we shifted away from quite as much violence and back in the land of some sort of normalcy where tantrums are an annoyance and perhaps physical outburst are present but minimal and meaningless (most of the time).

We went 5.5 days without him hitting me! That my friends, is actually a record since we have had him! A huge step of progress indeed.

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Rage Phase

Muddled Weekly: September 5th-11th

  • I shut the car door (he wanted to do it). *Rage*
  • I suggested he change into some different clothes when he was soaking wet and covered in dirt (he obviously did not want to). *Rage*
  • Other Mama suggested that 4:30am was far too early to get up (he disagreed and threw his bed, animals, clothes, side table). *Rage*
  • The great shoe debate: boots versus dress sandals. While I’m not one to argue with a toddler as there is not even a reason to “win” in that department, there is certainly a time when there is a safety concern. Let the screaming commence…  *Rage*
  • The rage storm passed and we were able to proceed with our week and weekend in a more normal, less rage-like state of mind.
  • We successfully attended church. He was very exited about snack afterwards and really did pretty well all things considered. He got a little over excited around one of the kids (like on your face excitement), but other than that not much. I can’t believe we made it through the front doors and the whole service without being a)kicked out or b) destroying something. Can I get an AMEN!?!?!

Court Date Coming Up!

Muddled Weekly: August 29th – September 4th

  • We got a court date. September 21st and the adoption is finalized!
  • Trauma Trigger Discovery: thin noodle spaghetti noodles.
  • Just like when summer rolled around we are seeing a change of trauma triggers with the season. At times this week he has been almost unrecognizable in behavior and attitude. I’m hoping I start to catch on to this round fast because it has been unbelievably hard to manage.
  • He left a turd on the bathroom floor. Yes, 0n purpose. He peed on purpose twice this week too.
  • He has started to use a stuffed animal almost like a babydoll and this is the first time we’ve seen this type of imaginative play at home. He talks for “Mr. Chipmunk” and gives him a squeaky voice (fitting). He was cautious and kept checking to see if that was okay.  So now I say goodnight to Mr. Chipmunk and that’s okay with me.Chipmunk
  • One day he was rocking with me and he looked longingly out the window and out of the blue said, “I don’t like my birth mom.” Clearly there is a lot of processing going on inside his little soul and all I can do is support him, show up, and be the best mom that I can be in that moment.

“Not nice to park on grass!”

Muddled Weekly: August 22nd – 29th

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  • First Farmer’s Market: we ate Afghan samosas, picked out veggies he wanted to buy (peppers, eggplant, tomatoes, and corn), and he yelled at flatlanders for parking on the grass and not being nice to nature. He didn’t try to go home with anyone and he did not run away so basically the market trip is a huge win.
  • Went to a different library where he got his very own library card. Side note: a woman was breastfeeding openly in the middle of the child book zone and I prayed little wouldn’t rush towards her and grab her boob. He didn’t. WIN.
  • Stacked wood…then watched a lot of it fall down. *sigh*
  • Picked zucchini and mounds of squash (enough to feed a small village).
  • He tried to climb out of his window. Fixed that…BUT OH MY GAWD
  • He only called one man at the park “Dad” but he did not try to hug him or go home with him!

Tacos, Soap, Goats

Muddled Weekly: August 15th – 21st

  • Hand soap covered the rug and the bathroom floor. As I stood in a puddle of disbelief at 5am, little man slowly opened the toilet seat lid saying, “Mommy! Look!”.  Pride beaming he showcased his project of slathering the entire toilet in what looked like a half-bottle of lotion. All before 5am.
  • First tacos! What a glorious mess.
  • Little helped milk the goats! While the oldest daughter of the farm owners was being dropped off at college (tear) wifey and little held down the farm duties. He was great handling the grain while the goats nibbled on his hands a bit.
  • I tried to explain what a cobbler was using a pie metaphor. Turns out he hasn’t had pie before. So there’s that.
  • I’ve been hearing about age 4 being called “F You Fours” and as we are getting closer to his 4th birthday, I can feeeeeel it. This weekend felt like a whole lot of rude “eff offs” from him. But no hitting. So if this rude, jerk phase comes without some of the intense hitting… I think I’m game.
  • He peed on his bed. On purpose!

Signed Papers & Hornworms

Muddled Weekly: August 8th – 14th

  • Signed on the dotted line. Yes, THAT dotted line. We hit the glorious 6-month mark with little man in our care which is required by law before submitting paperwork to the court. Now we wait for the court to decide on a date. Let the anxiety commence!
  • Little will be learning very quickly what not to say to women.  Some favorites this week, “Mommy, why is dinner so late?”, “Mama, you need to do the dishes, it’s messy!”, “You have a big bum!”, “Give me gummy vitamin now!” Bonus of having two moms is getting that nonsense checked REAL quick.
  • We made some ice cream in a bag. It took a LONG 10 minutes (which was an eternity in toddler-time) to shake that mess into ice cream but the result was pretty delicious.
  • We haven’t been getting hit nearly as much but this weekend he totally took a cheap shot at me while I wasn’t looking. Not cool little man, not cool at all.
  • The bath fiasco may have a solution? Every bath seems to be a triggering time for little man. He gets in the checked-out space and immediately throws things, smacks me, flips out like you’ve never seen before. So…I tried using the extended shower head kind of like a garden hose spray down/shower while he just stands up. Tried this twice so far and no explosions and he even giggles about it. Anything that doesn’t land me in a space of a dripping, soapy, violent toddler is a win!
  • We discovered some nasty tomato hornworms eating all our tomatoes. Beastly ones. And rude. If I don’t get my favorite Brandywine tomato this year, I will be the one throwing a tantrum.

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Berries, Birds, Boogers

Muddled Weekly of August 1st-7th:

  • Baby birds hatched and we got to watch them grow for a short time until the nest fell out of the tree from a bad storm. The babies died and that was mighty sad.
  • Blueberries! We have blueberry bushes but not the amount of blueberries I was looking to scoop up for winter prep. So off we went to pick berries at a local blueberry farm. Lovely berries, great price, quality product. The speakers to scare off the birds however? The most startling, loudest, war-zone type of noises ever. My heart was racing and it wasn’t exactly the laid back PYO berry experience we had in mind. Little is not such a fan of picking berries now… le sigh.
  • My favorite tantrum was when he took parts of his door off and everything thrown out of his room. EVERY.SINGLE.THING.
  • He wiped boogers on the wall. Many, many, disgusting boogers.
  • Little got so big that he stopped using the booster seat at the dining table.
  • We put together an art easel. By “we” I mean that I opened the stupid box without wifey around thinking it was all together. Since he already saw it, I obviously had to proceed putting together a product with a 3 year old’s “help”, which is no easy task. It took 2 hours. TWO HOURS.
  • We learned about coconuts and smashed them open.
  • Little visited the library for the first time and LOVED it. His thirst for reading makes me happy!
  • We had a whole day about “If you give a mouse a cookie.” It was delicious, messy, and fun.